In the last two chapters of Ezra, the prophet discovers that the people (and the officials, even) have deliberately disobeyed God’s command not to intermarry with the different people groups. Ezra responds:
“As soon as I heard this, I tore my garment and my cloak and pulled hair from my head and beard and sat appalled.” (Ezra 9:3)
I really admire his reaction. Contrary to contemporary practices, he is grieved by sin. Sometimes i feel as if people realize their sin and even boast about it. Like, they are proud that they struggle in this area or they feel that this downfall is somehow attractive to others. But sin is sin, and should evoke remorse and (for lack of a better word....sorrow doesn’t seem strong enough, but pain sounds too exclusive against mental and emotional stress....) grief. If people could look at sin the way God views sin, I think that would alter the flippancy and apathy in this generation.
Ezra prays, “O my God, I am ashamed and blush to lift my face to you, my God, for our iniquities have risen higher than our heads, and our guilt has mounted up to the heavens.”(Ezra 9:6)
I completely identify with Ezra’s feeling here. The oppressive, overwhelming guilt of sin that chokes out joy has rapidly taken over him. I mean, i don’t know if Ezra knew about the intermarriage problem before (i imagine that it would be kinda hard to hide that particular sin...) although his writings make it seem as if he was ignorant of it until chapter 9, but it is like all of the weight of the Israelite’s transgressions have crashed down on him, and, because of the magnitude (i mean, this had been going on for some time because these unholy unions contrived children) of Israel’s guilt, Ezra feels the barrier between the people and God (at least, i think that is implied in the “mounted up to the heavens” although maybe i’m wrong and am reading too much into it. i do that sometimes....) I really abhor the feeling of realizing that i am in the wrong (i’m not talking about arguments...although i really don’t like that either! haha but i mean when i realize that i have been acting on pride or any other sinful compulsion); of discovering that I am so far from where God’s word exhorts me to be. I mean, in a way it is so very rewarding to experience God’s grace (always remembering, of course, that we are NOT called “to continue in sin that grace may abound”! because that is not biblical or right or rewarding in any way!) and to be reminded of how fallible and “in need of a savior” i am, but it still isn’t a pleasant sensation.
But it doesn’t end there. God is gracious and merciful. And i am going to go into that (at least, the part that i see in Ezra. obviously i could never finish unpacking God’s grace and mercy because it knows no bounds, and i am just a mere human attempting to express abstract ideas and themes in concrete and tangible terms). For now, goodnight and God bless. Should God grant me grace enough for one more day on this earth, i will write more about Ezra. :)
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